Nobody is Perfect and That’s Okay

Any little girl who grew up reading fairy tales is already forced into a world where perfection appears effortlessly achievable. Snow White, for instance, is so beautiful that her step-mother, the Queen, can’t stand her comparison. The very reason why Snow White’s life is threatened is that she, ultimately, is too perfect. However, as a young girl reading through the book or watching your favorite Disney’s rendition, your first reaction is to be scared on behalf of Snow White and to want her to win in the end. As an adult, however, you might find growing in yourself a sense of understanding for the Evil Queen who cannot, despite her best efforts and all her magical skills, achieve perfection. Perfection is, as far as we know, not of this world. However, we still crave for it, unable to accept and cherish our imperfection. It’s time to silence the Evil Queen in each of us. 


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Stop worrying about what others think of you

The very first thing you need to do to fight off your Evil Queen is to focus on yourself without stopping to consider what others think or do. Indeed, the source of pain for the Evil Queen is to compare herself against others, as she asks her magical mirror who is the most beautiful women in the kingdom. Don’t follow her footsteps. Comparing yourself to others is no real measurement of your uniqueness and worth. We are naturally biased to find the grass greener on the other side, but it’s not always an accurate feeling. Following your path creates a unique route that is beyond comparison. It’s all about you, and if you wish to compare, you should compare to your past self. 

What if this is causing internal turmoil?

Unfortunately, in your quest to perfection, pain can come from a variety of places. For the Evil Queen, ignoring comparison wouldn’t have been sufficient to maintain her happiness. Indeed, the Queen is all of us when she actively seeks reassurance from her mirror. Am I truly the most beautiful beyond comparison? It’s the question she would ask today. Bluesky Psychology experts fear that the Queen’s excessive need for comparison reveals a tragic lack of self-worth. Indeed, if you have no sense of how well you’re doing until you can compare yourself to others, working with a therapist could help you to break free and work with you if you are dealing with these types of things.

Therapy does not work for everyone so if you are dealing with lack of self worth or more such as anxiety, depression or something else of the sort please seek out medical help you are not alone.

Understanding the difference between not good enough and self-improvement

Wanting to get better is healthier than attempting to eliminate all competition like the Evil Queen does. However, while the path to self-improvement is about acquiring new skills with the help of a mentor or a partner who makes you accountable, it’s also a path to achieve a goal. Whether you want to fit in your bridal gown or become a better manager, defining success begins with your objective. Self-improvement is not a path toward self-acceptance. If you don’t love yourself at the beginning of the journey, you’re likely to find flaws at the end. 

The Evil Queen lives in each of us. She compares herself constantly to others. She is obsessed about it and finds no way out but destruction to achieve her goals. While nobody goes to such extents, there’s no denying that the quest for perfection leaves us just as damaged and vulnerable. It’s time to make peace with our imperfect self. The Queen can finally relax in the knowledge that Snow White is too perfect to be real. 

And we all are imperfect happily after.

Love who you are and water your own grass!


My 7 Self-Care Essentials

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.
— Diane Von Furstenberg

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Taking care of yourself is vital to your mental, physical, spiritual and emotional health. In this crazy stress filled world, it is easy to get run down and feel like you’re chasing life instead of living in the moment, being present and taking necessary time for yourself.


- My 7 Self-Care Essentials -

THE COMFY

 

I am ALWAYS cold and bundled up in multiple layers in order to stay warm. This past Christmas, my parents surprised my sister and I with these amazing inventions (almost upset I didn’t come up with this idea myself). It is literally a blanket hoodie and I couldn’t love it more; no matter how much I look like a pink marshmallow. On a cold night, it’s so nice to wrap yourself up catch up on TV shows, watch a movie or simply spend time with family. It is the coziest and comfiest item I have ever come across and practically live in it at night.


 ESSENTIAL OILS

I have been hooked on essential oils for years. It wasn’t until a few months ago where I really immersed myself into the oily world of Dōterra and really learned about different oils, the uses for each and how there are limitless options when it comes to aiding in your health and wellbeing. My family and I have been trying to go as natural and organic as possible since not only do we deal with health issues but it is so much better for your body. Who wants to put nasty chemicals into your body that you can’t even pronounce?! After having friends raving about Dōterra and telling me all the benefits and seeing countless recipes on Instagram, I was hooked and signed up right away. I get 25% off wholesale and there are so many promos to get free oils and even learning modules to teach you about the essential oil world! I use essential oils to help fight getting sick, uplift my mood, fight headaches and other body aches as well as treating acne! You can check out my must have essential oils in this post here.


YOGA MAT

Yoga has been a huge aspect of my self care routine. I find it so relaxing and instead of a crazy high intensity workout, you are slowly moving your body and stretching. Even though it may seem more “delicate” let me tell you, it is a workout. Yoga really allows you the freedom to work with your body and do what feels right for you. Breathing techniques also work well with the different yoga positions and helps you to relax and get your body moving while calming your mind. The key to starting and creating a routine is patience! My sister got me this extra thick yoga mat from Gaiam that I am OBSESSED with. If you suffer from achey or weak knees or joints, an extra thick mat like this will be a game changer!


HEATED BLANKET

Heated blankets are one of the best inventions; at least in my mind. Like I said earlier, I am always cold so a heated blanket not only keeps me warm but I have seen an improvement with my sleep. I find I sleep deeper with a heated blanket than without it. Sleep is so vital to your well-being and any way you can help that is a win in my book!


CARING CRATE BOX

 Caring Crate is “a unique, monthly subscription box service for those dealing with mental health issues, chronic illnesses - or anyone who needs a little extra self-care.”

As some of you may know I have been dealing with chronic illness for almost half my life. I have also experienced anxiety and depression over the years and work on bettering myself physically and mentally everyday. I received an email from Janelle from Caring Crate asking if I wanted to share this amazing box with my audience and I immediately was on board! I know so many people who deal with chronic illness, anxiety and depression as well and I think this is such an amazing idea to not only treat yourself but share the love with others and gift it to a friend who may need a little pick me up.

When I received my box, I was so excited to use the products and the items I received are incredible. I received a tea steeper, Mulled Cider tea, a roll on perfume to help ground myself (again the magic of aromatherapy), a reflections notepad and a Vanilla Chai sugar scrub (which is my favorite because not only does it work but it smells absolutely incredible, just like a Dunkin Donuts Vanilla Chai Latte!)

Janelle was kind enough to give me a coupon code for my audience!

Get 20% off your first order with code CALIJAE20


HEADSPACE

Meditation has been a vital aspect in my self care routine and I try to do it everyday. We are all constantly on our phones, engulfed in other people’s lives, the news, and social media. I have come to find that the less time I spend on social media, the happier I am and the more positive my mindset is. Instead of scrolling through instagram, take some time to meditate. It’s a learning curve and takes a lot of patience but it really helps you to be more mindful, calm your mind, and help with anxiety. People are so afraid to be by themselves in silence and away from their phones, but that is where you find out so much about yourself and how you can work to achieve what you want in life. Headspace has been a current favorite of mine as they have an array of different meditations for different areas you’d like to focus on! Just 5 minutes a day could help you have a clearer mindset for your day ahead. As mentioned in a previous blog post here, my sweet friend Stella wrote about creating the best meditation space. Definitely a must read!



JOURNALING + PRACTICING GRATITUDE


Since being in the planner world for a few years, bullet journaling and practicing gratitude has really been at the forefront lately. I have always had some form of a journal ever since I was little and found peace of mind by writing out my thoughts and ideas. Getting what’s in your head out on paper can be a huge stress reliever. Like I always say, if I don’t write it down it doesn’t happen because it will get lost amongst the millions of other thoughts and ideas in my mind. I put journaling and gratitude together because I keep a gratitude log in my journal/planner. No matter how crappy a situation may be there is always a silver lining no matter how small. Being grateful for the littlest things like breathing, walking, having a supportive family, etc. really makes a difference and your outlook on life can really change in a positive way.


Leave me a comment below telling me how you practice self care!


*This post is not sponsored. These are 100% my opinions and truly love these brands and items! Affiliate links are incorporated.

Create the Best Meditation Space with These 5 Tips

Meditation is a thoroughly beneficial training of the mind. It may seem to some as strangely simple and passive, but this could not be further from the truth. Meditation takes work, know-how, and the right atmosphere. Aside from needing your concentration, dedication, and stamina, this spiritual practice also requires some technical aspects, such as a proper meditation space. To honor the true essence of the practice, you need to create the right conducive environment. Here are the five essential points to consider when finding and building your ideal meditation space.



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To honor the true essence of the practice, you need to create the right conducive environment. Here are the five essential points to consider when finding and building your ideal meditation space.

A regular place

              Yes, meditation in nature is a unique and transformative experience. However, making daily trips out into nature can be tricky, complicated, and time-consuming. Not everyone has a garden or a beach or an isolated green area nearby, and even if so – what about unfavorable weather? With this said, you need to find a realistic and safe solution for your place of meditation. The bedroom is usually the most convenient option, but really any other space can also work as long as it can be reserved exclusively for this purpose for about 20 minutes a day. By deciding on a regular place for this sacred time of the day, you’ll make meditation a regular habit as well.   

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Relatively quiet and clean


Meditation is all about finding your own path to inner peace. In order to avoid getting distracted along the way, you need to limit the number of items around you, minimize the possibility of noise, and keep the place clean. If you’re sharing an apartment with family, friends, or a partner, let them know about your sacred place and time of the day. Turn off all the beeping gadgets around you beforehand. You’ll want to have simple and gentle colors in plain sight for a more calming effect. Additionally, you may want to keep your meditation pillow or mat in the middle of the room for a visual cue and reminder.   

Well ventilated/good air quality

For a peaceful and calming environment, it’s necessary to shut out all the external distractions, including sounds from the rest of the house, outdoors traffic noises, or any other sort of humming. This requires that all doors and windows be closed, but this may lead to air stagnation, even if you have an air conditioner or fan in the room. To ensure that you’ll be breathing clear and healthy air during your meditation, consider getting a reliable HEPA air purifier and maybe also adopting a plant that will beautify your environment and improve the air quality.

Natural light

Meditation enables us to connect with the earth, free our minds, develop self-love and ultimately connect with nature. In order to unwind your mind and reach the enlightening point of total presence in the moment, you should avoid all sorts of artificial light sources. Ideally, your meditation corner should be naturally well-lit, so keep your windows closed but blinds open and curtains set aside, allowing the abundant sunlight to come inside.

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A comfortable seat


There are so many variations of sitting cross-legged ranging from full/half lotus to the Burmese position, but they are all best supported by a meditation cushion. It’s worth investing in a well-made and firm cushion for a consistent meditation practice. Of course, you can use a chair if you need, but just make sure to sit away from the back of the chair, keep your back straight, and stay supported by comfortable pillows.

No matter which type of space you choose to be your spiritual shelter, follow these simple tips to optimize the atmosphere and make the practice of meditation enjoyable and effective. Finally, you can always consider giving your space a distinctive touch by decorating the walls with pieces of art, incorporating scented candles or reed diffusers, or maybe even sharing the space for group meditation sessions. 

- Gust post by Stella Van Lan -

Stella van Lane is a passionate writer in love with coffee, chocolate, music, books and good vibes. Her top interests are health, yoga, meditation and interior design.

FIND HER ON TWITTER HERE

Thank you Stella for this amazing post. Thank you for not online inspiring me but I know this will inspire others as well! - Caroline